Worn: A Personal Blog

In the midst of my pain and sadness

 

I need you.

 

Through my fear and failures

Through my past PAINFUL past that still comes back to haunt me like a thief in the night

When depression overtakes me and the burdens of life swallow my soul

 

I need you.

 

From the depths of despair that holds me ransom to the valley of desperation and defeat.

In the midst of chaos and when I feel like I cannot take one more breath.

 

I need you.

I need YOU, Jesus.

 

But why do you seem so silent?

Why do you seem so far away?

You said you would never leave me.

You said you would never forsaken me.

But why does it feel like you are not even here?

The loneliness eats away every fiber of my being and my soul feels crushed.

My mind is foggy and I feel confused.

I am tattered and worn.

I feel like I am drowning.

Don't let me drown.

Please don't let me drown.

 

Be near me Lord.

Save me.

Breathe LIFE into this empty soul.

 

Fill me with your love and presence.

Quench these dry bones and fill my cup.

I want to feel.

I want to feel alive again.

 

Revive me.

Renew me.

Make me new.

Heal me.

Rescue me.

 

Break the silence

and come fill me up again.

 

 

Preaching to myself here...

 

Been battling with a lot of things. And I am not going to lie. I am not perfect. Nobody is. But life sometimes takes you by the horns and says "NOPE. YOU aren't in control."

I normally try to make the best of every situation, but sometimes I just feel so defeated.

So degraded and so unvalued.

I understand it. The enemy's purpose in life is to make me MISERABLE.

But I will refuse to live that way.

I will not let death overtake me.

But I am not going to lie.

IT IS HARD.

But I am doing my best.

But I have to remember that.....

As imperfect as I am

He still loves me the same.

Humans are not perfect. They hurt you. They upset you. They will fail you.

But God NEVER will.

Remember that promise....

REMEMBER that.

God is always ALWAYS there....

Always.

Praise Him In This Storm

Have you ever gotten to the point in your life where you realized that you are "stuck" and can't move? Have you ever felt like you were caught in a rainstorm without an umbrella? While the world around you is moving, running for cover there you stand in the middle of the road with rain pouring down your face. You feel motionless. You feel trapped. You feel like the rain will never stop.

You wonder if things will ever get better. You wonder if the storm will ever pass. Will the rain ever stop? Will the sun ever shine again? Will the grass ever be greener on the other side? I can tell you that I am at that very point in my life right now. Right here. Right now. I am in the midst of a storm, what I believe is a test from God. Circumstances occur that is far beyond what you can bear. 
Nobody is perfect. Life isn't perfect. But one thing I do know is God is perfect. 
His plan is perfect. 
His plan is far better than your own plan. 

You can sit there in the pouring rain and pray that God will make the rain stop Or you can run for shelter into the arms of Jesus until the storm passes. "The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him." Nahum 1:7   "Hope makes the heart sick. But a desire fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12 

You may feel hopeless right now. Whatever the situation is in your life you are struggling with, whether it's the loss of a loved one, a marriage or a job or maybe you just feel like life just doesn't make sense right now. Know that there is peace after the storm.You may not understand but you don't need to know they why. Just know that things will only get better. You just have to believe it.

"I will praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands. For you are who you are no matter where I am. Every tear I cry you hold in your hand. And though my heart is torn I will praise you in this storm." -Casting Crowns "Praise You In This Storm"

Pastors and Churches: Thank you!